Practice Spring Renewal with Upholstery (Metroland Publication's There's No Place Like Home, Spring 2003)

Does your only intimate experience with a sofa employ the "couch-potato" position? Would you divorce the lazyboy with cracked naugahide and cat-clawed armrests if it weren't for its curves? Is therapy keeping you from breaking your Kyoto principles by tossing your stained and tired ottoman in the landfill?

There are less expensive alternative to having a well-constructed piece of furniture professionally reupholstered. A sound frame does not have to be discarded for a newly purchased replacement. With a few simple tools and several metres of fabric, that favourite upholstered item can be revamped.

People generally think of this venture as NASA-engineering, rather than just diligent staple removing. Most importantly, give yourself a lot of room to maneuver. Turn the piece on its head. Armed with a flat screwdriver or an office-style staple remover and a pair of needlenose pliers for pulling out obstinate staples, remove the bottom dustcover. Once stripped away, the back panel may be loosened from underneath -- again, pulling staples. Along its sides, this panel will be fasted by tackbars, which need to be pried up and saved for re-use. Flip the entire panel inside out over the piece in order to un-staple it at the top of the backrest. Each panel -- back, side, fron and seat, will peel away in similar fashion until a barely clad skeleton remains.

Should padding require augmenting, purchase extra batting at a fabric outlet to layer over the existing stuffing. Fabric amounts, always roughtly measured for upholstering, are best guess-timated from the old panels, now pattern-pieces. Note these calculations in 115 cm. and 150 cm. widths (the most common). Cushions are measured like large envelopes. A three-seater sofa will require 12 to 15 meters, so be price-conscious in your fabric selection. Always take both calculations to the store and prepare to spend between $100 and $200 for that large sofa.

Fabric, though available in pale colours, wild textures or bold patterns, is best kept to darker (for keeping clean), tightly woven (for ease of handling) and either solid or small-patterned (eliminating repeat-matching problems). Smart money says start within these parameters for a first attempt and experience your way to recovering-addict and fabric-junkie before tackling padded coffee-tables, slipper chairs or chaise lounges.

Rough cut new panels, leaving a generalous border of extra fabric around the pattern pieces and reassumble the project in reverse order, stretching and stapling as you go. Don't panic; an incorrect staple can always be pulled for a 're-do'. Re-use those tackbars or reinforce clean edges by stapling through long strips of thin cardboard. The cushion covers will require some straight-stitching along the sides and can always be closed with ties, zips or Velcro.

FIRST PERSON SINGULAR (CBC RADIO ONE)

THE MAP

          Inhaling, my lungs held for a moment, then I sighed as the sun melted into the treetops. I hurried across the shadowed asphalt, rounded the square building and stumbled up the stairs. Peering through the doorway into the standard community college night school classroom, I wondered if the men and the women already sitting at the tables on molded blue chairs were anything like me. Did they have answers or only  questions? And how did they get here? I’d always thought that everyone else held a map and knew their journey’s direction.

          But I didn’t know where I was going. In high school, I took all the maths, all the sciences, history, languages and phys.ed. for fear of having the wrong pre-requisites once I decided what to do with my life. In university, I played it safe with general arts and languages. I reasoned that would give me the flexibility to change my mind as often as I liked. I graduated in the year that the Toronto School Board laid 250 teachers off and took it as a sign from God not to go to Teacher’s College as planned. But that didn’t help me to know where I was headed.

          When I worked in an office, I temped. When my first marriage broke up I contemplated going back to school. While my children napped, I poured over course calendars and brochures trying to formulate a plan. Architecture took too long. Photography was better left as a hobby. I could sew. I decided to follow that signpost, but I was far from sure. The day that I registered for college, I almost stepped out of the ‘fashion design’ line and cued up for ‘interior design’ at the spur of the moment. But after all that, the small children’s wear company that I founded after college got clobbered by the 1990 recession. I considered it an Act of God. So I remarried instead.

          My husband worked a swing shift and before our first anniversary I discovered he was bipolar. In my discouragement, I found myself traveling on his path. We moved to the country and I spent the next six years hunkered down with indecision. I helped him farm, worked part-time for a family business, volunteered for worthy causes, built a log home and raised children. No doubt, these praiseworthy and gratifying efforts would be rewarded in the next life. But I was following other people’s directions.

          A collision of events – my daughter’s wedding, my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary, my husband’s slide down a lost path that ended in the hospital, made me cast my eyes heavenward and try to navigate by the stars. But by then, my feet were too mired in the muck to move. I prayed.

          All summer long I hid behind sunglasses, donned a sheltering straw hat and stared at the ripples as my two young boys rolled and frolicked in the pool from sun up to sun down. I had no desire to go anywhere or speak to anyone. Many mornings, I didn’t know how I raised my head from the pillow. Many evenings, I didn’t know how I had put any words together. Did I make sense to anyone?

          I entered the classroom and took my seat. A full-figured woman with bobbed gray hair and bifocals joined us. She spoke of having been in our shoes. She spoke of the fears and the frustrations and the freedom. She suggested we leave our baggage of insecurities with her. We laughed and sighed. It felt like a homecoming. I knew this woman must be an angel. A celestial messenger. Her words were simple and clear.

          "If you write," she said, "you’re a writer."

          There was my map. All of a sudden, the terrain of my scattered life made sense. She had illuminated acres of rich soil. Earth studded with thousands of buried bones where my words were rooted. What greater gift than a sharp set of tools and a guide, could I be granted by a teacher? I claimed the territory. It was mine to seed and till. I took up residence, harvested hard-won words and called it home.

(Aired May 8, 2004)

Globe & Mail - Lives Lived ( January 4, 2006)

Kurt Schickedanz

Entrepreneur, uncle, husband, brother. Born December 13,  1924, in Neustadt, Lithuania (now Naumiestis). Died July 14 in Roches Point, Ontario, of Parkinson's disease and cancer, aged 80.

Kurt was a giant of a man. More than six feet tall, boisterous when in fine spirits and abrasive when irritated, he not only scared us as children, but intimidated some adults. He managed to draw outstanding performances from tradesmen, financiers and suppliers for Schickedanz Brothers, the construction and development business that he, with brothers Gustav and Gerhard and cousin Danny, founded in 1951. He continued until declining health recently kept him home.

As the oldest, Kurt took on a leadership role in their entrepreneurial enterprise. Their venture spread from construction to development. They diversified from houses to commercial buildings, apartments and, later, hotels and golf-course communities. Over the years, Kurt utilized his physical and organizational skills as together they nurtured the fledgling business into a strong contender in the marketplace. Eventually, satellite offices were established in Calgary, as well as Boynton Beach and Clearwater, Florida. The Toronto contingent would leave its mark on southern Ontario from Niagara Falls to Cobourg; from the shores of Lake Ontario to Georgian Bay.

Canada fulfilled most of Kurt's dreams. He met and married Johanna Kraemer on April 28, 1952. She proved to be his greatest assistant and support. Although they were not blessed with children of their own, Onkel Kurt and Tante Hanni's doors were always open to their nieces and nephews. Many celebrations were held on Onkel Kurts cabin cruiser, The Contessa, in forays around Lakes Simcoe or Couchiching as Kurt climbed the ranks of the Power and Sail Squadron, a nationwide boating organization; another of his loves.

The traditional congregation of First Lutheran Church was also an area that Onkel Kurt supported passionately, serving on church council or behind the scenes.

He usually, but not always, had the agreement of his brothers. Should there be a divergence of opinion, matters were frequently and vociferously aired. In the Quaker manner, they either concurred or plans were altered until all could live with the outcome. This was also their style of business.

Above all else, Onkel Kurt helped build a strong family. He eagerly shared in their lives -- the joys and the tribulations of his elders while they were with us; his brothers and sisters as well as their children. He also included the dedicated staff of Schickedanz Brothers and long-standing business associates as family. No one was immune from his quick wit, jovial ribbing or pointed observations.

Onkel Kurt packed a tremendous amount of zeal into his 80 years. But he was not only a successful businessman, dedicated philanthropist and genuine "mensch." I have a memory of lying in my bunk as a child at the cottage, struggling to keep my sleep-fogged mind alert. After a full day of fishing, my father, uncles and a great-uncle from America sat, poured schnapps and reminisced about bygone days and people I'd never met. Onkel Kurt's voice carried above the others and it floated to my hungry ears, lulling me to sleep.

May the echo of his voice never fail to find me and might I heed its wisdom.

Barbara Hunt is Kurt's niece.

Esteem Magazine (Fall 2006 issue)

To Have or Not to Have

Although it seems that the parents you meet at the park, at T-ball and soccer games, or at home and school meetings are ever more mature than their predecessors, the phenomenon runs much deeper through Canadian society than anyone would suspect. That is, unless you are Suzanne Tough, PhD, Associate Professor at the Faculty of Medicine, University of Calgary.

Suzanne has just completed an Alberta Heritage Foundation for Medical Research-sponsored study into the consequences of waiting until later in life to parent. She found that due to a poor understanding of the links between delaying childbirth until after the age of 35, as well as complications during pregnancy and adverse infant outcomes, young adults have minimal success in making an informed decision about timing that transition to parenthood.

"We discovered that 85.3% of women associate conception difficulties with increased maternal age," Suzanne explains, "yet when it come to multiple births that number falls to 24%. Awareness of the risk of caesarian section is only 18.8% and only 21% of women realize that the risk for preterm deliveries increases with age. Finally, low birth weight is the least recognized risk at 11.2%." On a more positive note, of 1,500 Canadians (both male and female) who had not yet started families, half were aware of increased chances of infertility and Down's Syndrome.

Though the highest three priorities in most adult lives, according to Roderic Beaujot's study for the Vanier Institute of the Family, are: an enduring, stable relationship, a satisfying job, and children, it seems that people willingly sacrifice the latter if difficulties arise. When it comes right down to it, there are many paths to parenthood and they hinge on a myriad of choices.

Nancy and Ted Bigelow of Brooklin, Ontario met in their early 30s and have now been married for three years. "It was tricky finding the right partner," admits Nancy. After solid educations and starting successful careers, they co-habited, bought a home, got married and then realized, as their 40s loomed, that the time for children was quickly evaporating. With two seven-month old twin girls at home, their roster is full. "It's challenging with twins, but we wanted two children and now we're done," says Nancy. She is planning to return to her marketing career (with the help of a nanny) for "the flexibility, the camaraderie and to achieve what [they] want out of life." Nancy stresses striking "a nice balace between home life, family and work." She strives not to miss out on her children.

For 48-year old Susie Parkinson of Blackstock, Ontario, the sentiments are similar even if the path was different. Again it was not career opportunities, but the search for a suitable mate that slowed Susie's life course. When she met partner, Dave, who had been previously married, Susie left her secretarial position with an insurance company to join him in his automotive business. This allowed for greater flexibility in their lifestyle when their son Billy was born eight years ago. "We have it easy compared to other people, because we have the freedom that comes with owning and running a local business," she explains. Like Nancy, Susie is adamant the "kids come first" and still safeguards the time that she can spend with Billy.

Nancy, Ted, Susie and Dave epitomize trends that the Vanier Institute cites as life pattern changes. Delayed parenthood is evident not only in isolated instances -- personal choices made by individual couples -- but is linked generationally to more prevalent and longer education, later homeleaving by youth and extended search for stable relations, all of which delay entry into labour market, marriage and starting a family.

A revolution of life course patterns has been underway for the past 45 years. Since the early 70s when the average age of marriage was 20, the age of union formation has crept up steadily. The present average is 28 years of age for women and 30 for men. Co-habitation, divorce, the rise in women's status adn the shift to a two-worker model within families have greatly influenced this shift, but so have subtle changes like increased student debt load, highter mortgage rates or more egalitarian relationships between parents and children keeping offspring home longer.

Difficult as it is to believe, the shift to a service economy, the higher skill level necessary for production and workers continuing to be productive after retirement age are hidden factors that tip the balance. British Columbia, Alberta and Manitoba as well as Health Canada, the Government of Canada Policy Research Initiative and the national Advisory council on Aging are all studying the social ramifications. An aging population, delayed reproduction and low fertility will promote serious labour market challenges by 2016, if not offset by increased productivity. The year 2011 will mark the largest number of Canadians employed. From then, GDP will slide, creating lower standards of living, an insufficient tax base for social programs such as healthcare and a more stratified Canadian society due to education and labour disparities.

Government policies need to address the demographic shift by supporting young families, relieving inflexible education systems, youth unemployment and housing issues in order to expedite that transition to parenthood. Statistics bear out that those older parents accumulate greater wealth that they can then invest in lifestyle and education, unlike their younger counterparts. This creates a vast asset gap between the two groups and extends to their children's potential lifestyle outcomes. Yet delaying pregnancy reduces fertility and produces few siblings; even an increased risk of childlessness. Over the past six decades, the human life cycle has changed from a three-stage process (child/prime-age/old) to a 5-stage model (child/youth/productive-age/post-productive/old). These shifts and changes need to be assuaged by governmental recognition and action. The trend towards longer schooling, exploring several careers, more engagement with peers before settling into that stable relationship and later marriage jeopardizes the well-being, not only of mother and infant, but of society as a whole.

When next you encounter a more mature adult at the playground, don't be too quick to assume that child is being entertained by a grandparent. Even grandparents aren't what they used to be. Because these shifts in early years cannot be extricated from the rest of a life course, grandparents' average age is now 55. They are healthier and more active than previous generations and due to deep involvement with their own careers are often unavailable for back-up parenting.

Cultural values and idealogies have changed. With increased individualism, children are viewed as "optional" and gaps form within generations, muddying division. Nancy, Ted, Susie and Dave grappled with the decision of parenthood, as most couples will. And Dr Suzanne Tough understands better than most, the lure of self-improvement through education and career; and the risks associated with delayed parenthood. As with other areas of life, our choices are not the same as our grandparents' and our children will make different decisions based on a new set of circumstances and a different social fabric.

SIDEBAR: Average couple's joint debt entering marriage averaged $44,000 (NCPA, 1999); More deaths than births are forecast to occur in 2025 (Stats Cda, 2001); In 2001, 41.1% of Canadians aged 20-29 still lived with their parents (27.5% in the early 80s) (Gov. of Cda, PRI 2004); Gender division of labour has shifted from dependent to complementary within couples in the past 40 years (Gov. of Cda, PRI 2004); 44% of couples were dual income earners in 1971, 72% in 1996 (Gov. of Cda, PRI 2004); In 1976 on 9% of first-time mothers were over 30, 34% in 2001 (Stats Cda, 1999); Total fertility rates (TFRs) have been dropping for a century, rate was 3.94 (1951) and 1.5 (2002) which is below the population replacement rate of 2.1 (Stats Cda, 1999); Declining fertility is a global trend (Stats Cda, 1999) because contraceptive advances aid in controlling not having children, we mistakely assume we can control having children (Vanier Institute, 2004); Women expected to live to age 82 may spend half their life as grandmothers (Nat. Adv. Coun. on Aging, 2002)

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